OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize