Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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