phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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