I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
