Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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