That's intense
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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