he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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