So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
