i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
