You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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