Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
