I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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