How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
