Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize