Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
