just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
