Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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