Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hippo gnu deer
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
