my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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