i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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