I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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