She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
