how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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