i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
