I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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