He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
