at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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