at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
