Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
