I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
