I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
