I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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