Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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