I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
