I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
