I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize