Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm just crazy horny about you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
