I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
