I got chris browned last night
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
