let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
