woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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