yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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