dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
