I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
