I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
