Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
