We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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