it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
