too bad you live with your parents still
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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