whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i need some magic done to my vagina
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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