butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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