just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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