I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
