Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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