Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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