Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
