Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
