She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
